Preconceptions Torn Apart
by Marian of the Faeries
Summary: The love of a werewolf is a rare gift, but will Snape appreciate it? Snape/Lupin *slash*.
1. Prologue and Chapter 1: Winds of Change

Title: Preconceptions Torn Apart  
Author: Marian of the Faeries  
Author e-mail: marianfaerie@home.se  
Author homepage: http://fly.to/marianfaerie  
Rating: R  
Categories: Romance, Angst.  
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape  
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowlings created and owns all characters and their surroundings.  
Warnings: Slash.  
Summary: The love of a werewolf is a rare gift, but will Snape appreciate it? Snape/Lupin *slash*.  
  
  


**Preconceptions Torn Apart**   
~~ Prologue: Dies Irae, Dies Illa ~~  
_(Day of Wrath, Day of Anger*)_

Remus Lupin quickly dodged another curse and winced as his leg almost gave way under him. He wasn't certain if the wound was serious or not; either way, he intended to carry on as long as possible. His golden eyes quickly scanned the chaos around him for a target, but thick smoke, bright flashes from different curses and shadowy figures were limiting his view. Suddenly a masked Death Eater apparated in front of him. The man had not seen him yet, he had his back turned, and Remus quickly stunned him. It was impossible to have any pretence of morals in this battle; the wound on his leg was a reminder of that. Something burst into flames a couple of feet to his left, and he tried to move out of the way, nearly stumbling on a young witch who lay motionless on the ground, stunned — or worse. His eyes were stinging from the smoke, and the smell of burning flesh and other unmentionable things made his stomach want to turn inside out_. This is not a time to be squeamish_, he reminded himself. This was the biggest Death Eater attack so far, and with a bit of luck they could defeat the followers of the Dark Lord and end the war. Dumbledore had the numbers on his side, but The Dark Lord's weapons were so much more terrible than anything they could muster. He heard a hoarse, drawn-out scream somewhere in front of him, and a man ran past him, still screaming at the top of his lungs, his body on fire. It was too late to save him, Remus knew. Voldemort's supporters seemed to take pleasure in the multitude of painful ways they could kill people.  
  
Ahead of him he saw a group of Death Eaters trying to surround a young boy, and ignoring the pain in his leg, Remus carefully approached them. The boy was trying to fight the Death Eaters off, but Remus knew that he couldn't offer resistance against four grown men for very long. One of the men collapsed, and Remus winced. That was a nasty curse, wonder where in the world the boy learnt that. He was close enough to see the boy's face now, and discovered who it was: Draco Malfoy. _That explains where he learnt that curse. _Remus stunned two of the Death Eaters and Malfoy quickly disposed of the last one.  
  
"Thanks," said Draco.  
  
"You're welcome," said Remus.  
  
The pale boy walked up to one of the Death Eaters, whose mask was different than the others'. It was golden instead of silver and it looked more ornate. Draco levitated the mask off the man's face and regarded him.  
  
"Avery," he said emotionlessly. "I used to play at his house when I was little."  
  
Remus looked sharply at the boy. He had been a great asset in this war, with his knowledge of Dark Arts and the weapons of the Dark Lord. He had willingly given them this, at the same time betraying all that he was raised to be, losing all that he had. They had used him, but at what cost? How much harm had they inflicted on the boy, and would he ever heal from the wounds? Only time could answer those questions.  
  
Suddenly, Remus realised that he had lost the boy somewhere in all the commotion. He looked around quickly, but he was gone. Then Remus spotted Harry and drew in a sharp breath. He had fallen to his knees in the mud, wand slipping from his fingers, and he stared unseeing at the scene before him. Harry had been so strong, and he had been so much braver than they ever could have expected of him, but nothing could have prepared him for this. A full-scaled battle, with all the death, pain, violence, and yes, carnage. It was easy to forget that he was still so young, hero or not.  
  
Remus tried to run in his direction, but his injured leg failed him, and he collapsed on the ground, almost passing out from the pain. He believed then that his last moment had come. Surely a Death Eater wouldn't spare a defenceless man on the battlefield.  
  
His field of vision was suddenly filled with a pair of black boots and the muddy hem of a black robe.  
  
"Lupin," a familiar, deep voice said. "Can you stand?"  
  
"I don't know," Remus answered, at the same time as he was hauled to his feet and stood face to face with Severus Snape. He swayed, and Severus steadied him with an arm around his waist.  
  
"Let's get you out of harm's way," Severus ordered.  
  
"But Harry" Remus protested weakly.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Lupin," said Severus sternly, "You are injured, and in no fit condition for a battle, and the boy is quite capable of taking care of himself."  
  
Remus looked in Harry's direction, and indeed, the boy was standing again with a grim and determined look on his face. He sighed and nodded at Severus.  
  
"Here, this way," the other man commanded, half leading, half carrying Remus towards the walls of the castle. Remus wondered where on earth he thought he was going, the gates had been barred to keep the Death Eaters out and no one could get in. It turned out that Severus led him to a sheltered alcove where several others also were hiding.   
  
Remus could discern several familiar faces, the Weasley twins, among others. One of them, which one he couldn't tell, was unconscious and had several nasty-looking wounds and burns visible beneath the torn robes. The other twin supported his brother's head in his lap, keeping his eyes intently on his him as if expecting him to rise again with the usual mischief twinkling in his eyes, and say "I'm not hurt, I was only joking!" Remus couldn't bear to watch them any longer. He sank to the ground, relieving the pressure on his wounded leg.  
  
Suddenly, he heard a muffled gasp, and turned around to see Severus on his knees, his face contorted in pain, clutching his left wrist.  
  
"Severus! What's the matter?"  
  
Severus choked a couple of times, and finally managed to grind out:  
  
"The Dark Lord."  
  
Remus squinted at the battlefield and finally spotted Voldemort, surrounded by a circle of wizards and witches. He could see Dumbledore, Harry and a flash of bright red Weasley hair; which one he couldn't tell from this distance. Suddenly, he saw a blinding flash of green light, and rubbed his eyes to get rid of the spots dancing before them. When Remus looked up again he saw Voldemort lying dead on the ground, and next to Remus, Severus lay unconscious. On a survey of the battlefield, all the Death Eaters had fallen unconscious, and were easy to capture.  
  
All around him, people erupted in cheers and laughter, rejoicing in the fact that Voldemort finally was dead, but Remus didn't join in. He had seen too much death and suffering that day to be able to laugh for a long time. He stared up at the clouded sky, and waited for rain to fall. 

* * *

And on the abandoned battlefield, filled by the bodies of the fallen soldiers of a pointless war, stood an old man; he seemed to be at least a hundred years old. His white hair reached down to his waist, as did his beard. His pointed hat was askew, and he wore a sorrowful expression on his ancient face. As he watched this place of sacrifice above his half-moon spectacles, he silently mourned those who lost their lives to save those of others. Still silent, he turned around, bent as if he carried a heavy burden, and walked towards the castle.  
  
*) "_Dies irae, dies illa_" could also possibly mean "Day of Wrath, this day". I've found different translations. I like "Day of Wrath, Day of Anger" much better, so I used that one, but if someone proves me wrong I'll change it.

  


~~ Chapter 1: Winds Of Change ~~

Severus Snape was a man that never had been particularly fond of aesthetics. Recently, though, he found his chilly, austere quarters and barren office strangely discomforting. He had always hid in the damp darkness of the dungeons, unwilling to face the rest of the world more often than necessary. It was one thing to know that one was disliked, and another entirely to experience it. To his own great surprise he had given in to an urge to venture outside in the sun, this evening in July.  
  
Once seated here, at the top of the hill, he found the view breathtaking. Beneath him he could see the lake reflecting the pale blue colour of the sky, the giant squid moving lazily somewhere in it's depths, occasionally causing the surface to ripple with a playful movement of a tentacle. The Hogwarts castle lay on its hill, standing erect and proud even after all these trials; the marks of fire and destruction weren't visible from this angle. On the opposite side of the lake, the tiled roofs of the village of Hogsmeade were just visible behind the lush crowns of the trees. The setting sun bathed the scenery in a warm, friendly light. Severus absently picked one of the tiny, blue flowers that grew on the ground where he had spread his cloak. One would think, he mused, that such a small flower would have more flaws than a similar, but bigger, flower, simply because of it's diminutive size; but it was perfection, down to every miniature detail. He toyed with the little blossom, lost in thoughts.  
  
The serenity of the evening gave him room to breathe, a welcome rest after the stress of the last months. His role as a spy in the war against Voldemort had been highly dangerous, and it had taken its toll out of him, living constantly on edge. But even after the final battle, which he miraculously managed to survive, his task wasn't over. As Hogwarts' resident Potions Master, he was the one who had to brew different Healing Potions for all the wounded wizards and witches who were given a place to recover at the school. Some had been hit by really nasty curses, and were still being treated, but most had been healed by now, and Severus' workload was slowly diminishing.  
  
The world looked new and fresh tonight, as if the war had never happened, as if all the pain and suffering had been washed away by time, like footprints in the sand, and by the knowledge that Voldemort could never, ever come back.  
  
Voldemort.  
  
The Dark Lord had been like a shadow looming over Severus for as long as he could remember. In his own golden schooldays, the older Slytherins, Lucius Malfoy among others, had put pressure on the younger to join the Dark Lord. It took enormous strength of character to resist those days, if you were sorted into Slytherin. Even after Severus joined Dumbledore he lived in fear of discovery, and the Dark Mark had blemished his pale skin since those reckless days of his youth. Severus realised that since Voldemort had influenced, yes, even dictated so many of his decisions in life, there was almost nothing left now that he was gone. He was finally free. Just look at him now. Sitting outside on a summer evening with the sun warming the dark fabric of his robes, enjoying the view and pondering his choices in life and his new freedom. _Severus Snape, you silly old fool_, he told himself. _Everything will be exactly the same._ But he knew that it wasn't true. Winds of change were blowing, and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

* * *

Remus pondered Severus' character. He was probably the most fascinating man he'd ever met. Where Remus was order he was chaos. This time he had totally surprised him.  
  
He'd saved Remus life out there on the battlefield. They had agreed to put their differences aside, of course, on Dumbledore's request, but this was another thing entirely, and completely unexpected.  
  
Something must have changed. Severus had always hated him intensely, or rather since their sixth year, which had caused him quite a lot of sorrow over the years. Remus had been attracted to him since their schooldays, and he was fairly sure it was returned, but there were too many barriers between them for it to develop into anything more. Their relationship over the years had undeniably been very passionate, though admittedly not very amicable.  
  
Severus was a very sensual man. Remus supposed that few people noticed because they were too afraid of him. He had never been afraid of Severus. Not even when his life was in the hands of a Severus maddened with rage.  
  
In Remus opinion, Severus took himself far too seriously. This made him an ideal object for mischief and that sometimes brought out the old Marauder in Remus. In fact, it had got him into trouble quite a few times, for example that episode with the boggart. Severus was fuming for months  
  
The darkness inside Severus didn't frighten Remus. He was a creature of the dark himself, and was not unfamiliar with dark and forbidden magic. The fact that the rest of the world shunned Severus didn't affect Remus' view on him either. He knew what it was like to be shut out, despised and feared. What a thing to have in common. To them both, Hogwarts was a safe haven, a shelter from the condemnation of the world outside.  
  
But still, Remus knew that he had it easier than Severus did in some ways. He, at least, had his friends who supported him. He did not want to remember all those years when James, and supposedly Peter, were dead and Sirius in Azkaban. His monthly transformations had been even more painful with the memories of their adventures and escapades, which were forever lost to him, not to mention their friendship. Today, everything looked brighter. Sirius would be freed soon, and until then Remus could visit him in London without risking either his or Sirius' lives.  
  
Severus had no friends; he had no one to confide in. Remus knew that life had hurt him in many ways, and the wounds were still infected. He was still lashing out, to keep the world from hurting him first.  
  
Remus thought that perhaps, yes just perhaps it was time for some healing.

* * *

When Remus made his way towards the dungeons he thought about what he was going to say. Severus was very unpredictable; there was no way of telling how he would act, so there was no idea to prepare a speech.  
  
He knocked at the door to Severus' office, and when he got no answer he stepped inside. The room was empty, and in the darkness Remus could barely discern the shelves with jars filled with strange magical components. Well, Severus wasn't there; he must have retired to his rooms for the night. Remus walked up to the door at the other end of the office and knocked.  
  
"Enter."  
  
Remus opened the door and stepped into Severus Snape's private quarters. They were sparsely furnished, and Remus got a feeling that they lacked something, something vital. Suddenly it struck him. Severus had no personal belongings to make his rooms homelike, there were no paintings or tapestries on the walls, no pictures of his smiling and waving family on the mantelpiece, no souvenirs from holidays many years ago, no potted plants or embroidered cushions. Not that Remus had any embroidered cushions, but he thought that it should be difficult for a man to live in the same place for such a long time and never, ever make it into a home. Severus himself sat in a low armchair by the fireplace, reading. A fire was lit, and its light spilled over his face and the pages of the book in his lap.  
  
Snape hadn't looked up when Remus entered, subtly hinting something similar to "you're not welcome, and surely not worthy of my attention".  
  
"Good evening, Severus. I hope I am not disturbing you?"  
  
Severus did look up then, and Remus thought that he saw a gleam of curiosity in his eyes.  
  
"Lupin. What a pleasure. Come here for a little chat, have you?"  
  
The man spoke in a mocking tone, but Remus sensed something behind his words that suggested that Severus didn't entirely object to his visit. He was in one of his better moods, then.  
  
"Maybe, maybe not. May I sit down?" Remus asked, and indicated the chair opposite Severus.  
  
The man gave him a look full of both surprise and suspicion. Reluctantly, as his curiosity took overhand, he said:  
  
"Be my guest."  
  
Remus nodded and sat down.  
  
"I came to thank you," he said, and ignored Severus' incredulous snort, "but I also have a question."  
  
"What is it?" Severus asked, though he looked like he neither wanted to know the question, nor answer it.  
  
"Why? Why did you save me?"  
  
Snape regarded him for a while with an unreadable look in his black eyes.  
  
"I don't know," he said dryly. "Maybe not even I can stand to watch a man that's actually on my side die, when I could have prevented it."  
  
Remus looked at him closely.  
  
"Something has changed, hasn't it, Severus?"  
  
His voice rang through the silence, but none of them was prepared to answer the question. They stared for a long time into the fire without talking, and without looking at each other. Finally, Remus stirred, and seemingly out of nowhere he said:  
  
"I'm not Sirius, you know."  
  
Snape still didn't answer, but he turned his gaze towards Remus with a look of surprise. Remus stood up from his chair.  
  
"You saved me, Severus, and I owe my life to you."  
  
Severus looked faintly amused.  
  
"And how were you thinking of repaying me?"  
  
"I don't know, but I'm open to suggestions," said Remus and winked. "Good evening."  
  
Before Severus could react he had left and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Severus gazed at the closed door. _Annoying git._ Had Lupin been flirting with him? No, he must have imagined it. Remus had never had a high opinion of him, and to be honest an expression of gratitude was the last thing Severus had expected from the man.  
  
_Something has changed, hasn't it?_  
  
With those very words, mirroring Severus' own thoughts, Lupin had substantiated this thing that was happening, and thus proving himself right without any need for Severus to say anything. Yes, something had changed, but what, and what was really happening?  
  
Why had he saved Lupin?  
  
They were enemies, for Merlin's sake! Or were they? The hatred dated back to that incident in their sixth year, when Lupin and Black tried to kill him. It was painfully humiliating to be saved by James Potter, and for Sirius Black he held nothing else than a deep contempt and anger that never seemed to fade. But Remus For some reason it _hurt_, but Severus was not going to dig too deep into that. Remus had been right; he was not Black, and Severus was all too aware of that.  
  
He must have imagined that Remus was flirting with him. Pity, though, he was a very attractive man. Those penetrating, golden eyes, his light brown hair with streaks of premature grey that always fell into his eyes, and the serenity and calm he radiated Be that as it may, Severus cherished no illusions about his own attractiveness, and so it was merely ridiculous, not to mention futile, to think of Lupin in that way.  
  
Yes, they were supposed to be enemies, but Severus found it quite difficult to entertain the proper animosity when Lupin didn't return it. Maybe the werewolf wasn't responsible for that prank back then. Maybe it was time to forgive and forget? Severus sighed deeply. Maybe the bitterness and hostility weren't justified anymore?  
  
There was a reason Severus had disapproved of Lupin's appointment as the Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher for the second time, even if Dumbledore had no choice but to appoint him since there weren't that many to choose from. Remus Lupin stirred too much inside him, too many questions, too many doubts, too many emotions that should remain buried, preferably as deep as possible.  
  
Next chapter: Remus has a revelation and acts upon it.


	2. Surfacing

Title: Preconceptions Torn Apart  
Author: Marian of the Faeries  
Author e-mail: marianfaerie@home.se  
Author homepage:   
Rating: R  
Categories: Romance, Angst.  
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
Warnings: Slash.  
Summary: The love of a werewolf is a rare gift, but will Snape appreciate it? Snape/Lupin *slash*.  
Beta: Staci, who has helped enormously with this chapter!  
  


~~ Chapter Two: Surfacing ~~

Remus remembered that night in the Shrieking Shack, when his entire life was turned upside-down. Peter Pettigrew returned to Voldemort's side – to eventually bring him back to power, he found out that Sirius was innocent, and Severus turned against him and prevented him from teaching at Hogwarts. Before that night, Severus had been contemptuous, but not outright hostile. It was not until Remus sided with Sirius that Severus truly turned against him. But Remus had always known that the man's hatred of Sirius was so much stronger than the hatred directed towards Remus.  
  
He remembered when Severus had hissed 'Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works!'. Silently, he agreed. It was indeed very difficult for someone who was not a werewolf to understand the peculiar mix of man and wolf that Remus was. When Remus was younger, the two personalities were entirely separate; when he was in human form the madness on the night of the full moon was only a diffuse memory. When he transformed he was completely mad, and knew nothing but the hunger and the thirst for blood.  
  
When the Wolfsbane Potion was developed, Remus transformed into a perfectly sane wolf, and at first it was the only difference he noticed. As the months passed, however, he discovered that he was becoming aware of the difference of the way he thought as a wolf and as a human. A wolf has less complex feelings, and it is mostly concerned with its basic needs and the needs of the pack. He also discovered that when he was human he remembered the way he thought as a wolf, and the other way around, and his two identities began to blur. Eventually, man and wolf blended, and formed the unique person that was Remus Lupin.  
  
It was not easy for others to grasp this difference. Even Sirius had barely noticed the change in Remus, and although they had been separated for so many years he still was the one person in the world who knew Remus best.   
  
The most obvious sign was his mild personality; few things could unsettle his stoic calm. Remus had no self-doubts. That was probably the reason he took Severus' threats and nasty comments so lightly. He knew that there was nothing to dislike or doubt about himself. Conflicting emotions were also something unknown to him. He had different emotions at the same time, of course, but he was spared the raging battle of two opposite desires in his head that he experienced in his youth.  
  
One part of Remus was almost entirely wolf. It was the part of him that acted purely on instinct, making him want to growl and bare his fangs when he was threatened, or made him occasionally think of Dumbledore as the pack leader. Fortunately, the human and logical part of him was able to restrain such behaviour, since Remus realised that it really wasn't appropriate to growl at a Ministry clerk or engage in any kind of wolfish behaviour in public.  
  
There was also the part of him that recognised social constructions like honour and revenge, but Remus knew that was all they were; constructions, inventions. He knew what it was, naturally, being brought up as a human, but it felt hollow, unimportant. What does honour matter to a wolf?  
  
And there was the common ground, those fundamental things man and wolf had in common. Protecting the young for example, to ensure the preservation of the species. And love  
  
Wolves have an unusual love life. They have only one mate; that means that when they find someone they stay with them for the rest of their lives. Remus knew that this applied to him too, only perhaps he loved in a more human way, but he hadn't found his mate yet. He hadn't been able to find much information about this mating bond, the only thing he knew was that it didn't appear unless the attraction was mutual. It wouldn't do for one wolf to get stuck with another wolf that wasn't interested, did it? The preservation of the species, and all that Remus supposed that the 'preservation of the species' reasoning didn't really apply to him. As far as he could tell he was bisexual, but it was hard to say for sure, because he had never fallen in love or been strongly attracted to anyone. Of course, there was Severus Remus frowned. The man was an enigma. 

* * *

Remus paused on the threshold to the staff room, leaning against the doorframe with an amused smile on his face. The room was full of Hogwarts professors, preparing for their next lesson or chatting amicably with each other. His attention, however, was immediately drawn to a couple who, even if they kept their voices down, had a very intense discussion, bordering on an argument. Minerva was gripping a stack of papers tightly, her whitening knuckles betraying her agitation even if her words did not. Severus stood in a confident pose, his arms crossed, looking down his nose at Minerva with a condescending smirk and dangerously narrowing eyes. Remus could only hear fragments of what they were saying from where he stood.  
  
"and it's only the third day of term! unfair to take points for such"  
  
" discipline the students is my own business, Minerva, and"  
  
"not even against the rules! If only"  
  
Remus stopped concentrating on their argumentation and regarded Severus with interest. He really looked like he was enjoying himself, if one knew what to look for. His eyes were sparkling, but not with anger, he looked quite amused by the older witch's attempts to reprimand him, which he easily circumvented. He was in his element. A true Slytherin.  
  
Remus noticed that Severus' appearance had changed somewhat since last year. His skin was no longer pale and sallow; he looked like he actually had been outdoors in the sun. He also seemed more relaxed. Remus knew that his role in the war had been very stressful for him. But Severus did what he had to do, just like everyone else.  
  
Severus had a broody, mysterious air about him, and it fascinated Remus despite himself. His hair was midnight black. Not like Sirius' hair, which was black with sun kissed brown highlights. It was completely black. So were his eyes, which often held a haunted, faraway look when Severus didn't know he was being watched, or the intense gaze that made the students squirm and Remus shiver with unidentified emotion. But what really excited Remus was his voice, deep and resonant, rich and smooth like velvet. Flowing down Remus spine like a lover's caress, full of promises  
  
Remus frowned. Why was the man suddenly having this effect on him? For Merlin's sake, he was almost writing poetry! Suddenly, the world seemed to snap into slow motion, as Severus turned towards him and met his gaze. Something seemed to flow from him through Remus and he felt warmth spread through his limbs, coiling in the pit of his stomach. Remus felt as if an invisible force was tugging at him, pulling him towards Severus, but at the same time he was held immobile by the unfamiliar emotions coursing through him. _This is where I belong, this is what I want_  
  
And Remus knew.  
  
Werewolves were attracted to their mates, and only them. If Remus felt drawn to Severus in this way, as if he was the only thing he needed, completely irresistible, then it could only mean one thing  
  
When Severus realised that Remus was watching him, his expression changed. His gaze fixed on him, it was intense and strangely erotic, and Remus found that he was instantly hard. Suddenly he knew that if Severus would take him into his arms his bones would melt, and his heart and they could become one and it would be everything he ever dreamed about. His heart started beating faster when he realised the implications of all this.  
  
He stood rooted to the spot as Severus approached him; he didn't even notice that he was blocking the doorway.  
  
"Are you going to stand there all day, Lupin?"  
  
His words hit Remus like a full-force blow.  
  
_He doesn't know. Gods, he doesn't know!_  
  
"Please," he whispered. "Call me Remus."  
  
And he fled from the room, and from Severus.

* * *

Somehow Remus managed to survive the fourth-year Hufflepuffs, second-year Ravenclaws, and lunch and dinner in the Great Hall in Severus' presence. As soon as was possible he retired to his rooms to sort out his jumbled thoughts.  
  
Him! All his life he had been looking for his mate, and he had been there right in front of him all the time! Why hadn't he seen it before?  
  
Remus realised that he must have had suspected something. In retrospect it was painfully obvious. The attraction had always been there, but their enmity had kept it from surfacing. But something had changed. As soon as the resentment had faded it had given way to this.  
  
So, what should he do now? Severus didn't seem interested, but, Remus realised, he had to be, else he wouldn't have chosen him as his mate. He groaned. Why couldn't his subconscious have chosen someone less well – broody, forbidding, withdrawn, intriguing, intelligent, attractive He gave up that train of thought.  
  
He supposed that the best course of action to take was to show his interest in a subtle way. Severus was not a man to be rushed into things. With that settled, he calmly seated himself at his desk and started marking essays.

* * *

A couple of hours later Lupin heard a soft knock at the door. Surprised, he looked up from his work. He rarely had any visitors, and never this late in the evening.  
  
"Come in."  
  
The door opened to reveal Severus with a steaming goblet in his hands. It was a week until the full moon, and Remus had completely forgotten the Wolfsbane Potion.  
  
"Severus."  
  
"I brought your potion," And then Snape added with a bit of unease in his voice, "Remus."  
  
Remus smiled at the use of his first name.  
  
"Thank you," he said and stood up. He took the goblet and placed it on the desk.  
  
"You're welcome..." Indecision played across Severus' face. He took a deep breath, and then opened his mouth to say something. "Eh.." Snape snapped his mouth shut again.  
  
"Yes?" said Remus, and looked up at him. Their eyes locked, and Remus found that he was unable to look away, he was completely lost in those black depths. He felt that warmth spreading through him again, and desire started to stir deep within him. _Is it going to be like this every time I look him in the eyes?_  
  
"You were acting very strange this morning. What was that all about? Did you need the 

potion earlier in the day?" Snape finally snapped out.  
  
So he had noticed _something_, at least.  
  
They were standing quite close, and Remus knew what he wanted to do, but was it a good idea? The call to claim his mate was pounding through his blood and screaming at him from every nerve ending. He tried to get a hint from Severus, but all he could read from him was puzzlement. He stepped closer.  
  
"This," he whispered, and kissed him.  
  
The first thing he felt was an overwhelming sense of _rightness_ that shocked him so much that he barely noticed when Severus started to respond. Strong arms encircled his waist, and he felt those unbelievably soft lips move against his own.  
  
_So much for subtlety_  
  
Remus moaned quietly when Severus' tongue entered his mouth and started to play with his own. He tasted so good, like cinnamon and apples, warm and arousing. Severus pressed closer and Remus could clearly feel his answering arousal through the thick robes. Yes, he had been right when he guessed that the desire was mutual.  
  
Eventually, Remus had to break off the kiss to catch his breath. He stared deeply into Severus' eyes and found that they were hazy with desire. Suddenly Severus seemed to snap out of his daze.  
  
"What?" he muttered, his dark brows knitting in confusion. "No."  
  
Remus looked at him steadily.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No, Lupin." Severus' expression turned into a frown. "It's just wrong."  
  
And with those words he was gone. Remus sighed with frustration.

* * *

Half an hour later, Remus gave up. Severus clearly wasn't coming back, and he had classes to teach in the morning. He drank the foul-tasting Wolfsbane potion, rinsed his mouth several times and brushed his teeth to get rid of the lingering aftertaste, and went to bed, ignoring the feeling of loss and disappointment in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

Dark, troubled eyes stared intensely at the rolls of parchment on desk, as if they stared long and hard enough the parchment would start to smoulder and catch fire.  
  
_What is Lupin playing at?_  
  
Severus couldn't possibly fathom why Lupin would offer that to him. It must have been some kind of game, a prank.  
  
Or not.  
_  
Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works._  
  
What could Lupin possibly win by this? No one would ridicule Severus for sleeping with him; Remus was one of the most desirable wizards he knew. It was more likely that people would envy him. Another thing that spoke against the prank-theory was that Lupin wasn't known to invite people to his bed. In fact, as far as Severus knew, no one had ever claimed to be the gorgeous werewolf's lover.  
  
_It is not wise to look a gift horse in the mouth._  
  
With a determined glint in his eyes, he rose from his chair and exited his rooms with his usual dramatic swirl of robes. As an afterthought, he grabbed a small jar on one of the shelves of his office, before he headed back to Remus' rooms.  
  
Next chapter: The content of the mysterious jar is revealed. 


End file.
